The expression of love can take many forms. A mother’s tender caress, a plain gold band, an awkwardly written poem or a cup of coffee in bed all can express love to someone.
But by learning about the five love languages, you will be able to fully express your passion to your partner in the way that he or she will understand it best.
“Words of affirmation” is a love language with which some people struggle, but that should not be a reason for not using it with those that you love.
Some people need love expressed to them in words. You could buy them the largest diamond ring, clean the house from top to bottom, and offer a foot massage every night, but they may never understand the depth of your affection. These people have a unique love-style called “words of affirmation.”
How to Tell if Your Partner Needs Words of Affirmation
Is your partner always sending you sweet cards or short emails just to tell you that he loves you? Is your partner careful to verbally let you know the things that she really likes about you? If your partner is always explaining the things that he loves, appreciates and admires about you, his love language might be words of affirmation.
If you figured out that your partner needs for you to express your love with words, you may be a bit worried if you are not very good with them. Rest assured that your partner is not expecting you to become the next Percy Shelley or William Shakespeare. Any words uttered with a sincere and loving heart will be beautiful to the hearer.
Planning to Express Your Love with Words
Using affirming words takes some intentional planning. Until expressing your love with words becomes a habit, each day you must think of a way to tell your partner that you love her. You may want to write an email to her several times a week, mail her a card, write a romantic love letter, or even verbally affirm her of your love several times a day.
After you have decided how you are going to commend your partner with your words, you will have to decide what to say to him. Words of affection are more than just compliments, although compliments are included and important to this love language. Your partner needs to hear of the things that you love about him and the appreciation that you feel for him.
Specific Things to Affirm to Your Partner
Be sure to commend all of the roles that your partner plays in your life and the lives of others. If she is a fabulous mother, cook, friend or worker, be sure that you tell her about it. If he is a wonderful Little League coach, father, handyman or son, be sure that you acknowledge his success.
Make it a point to verbally express appreciation for all of the things that your partner does for you. If he brought dinner so you didn’t have to cook, picked up the dry cleaning or took care of kitchen clean up, be sure to recognize his efforts and say thank you. If she took the dog to the vet, bought your favorite snacks or paid the bills so they wouldn’t be late, don’t forget to tell her how much you appreciate those things.
Don’t forget to affirm your partner’s appearance. Although love is based on much more than outward beauty, people always feel good when others compliment their appearance. This is particularly important when your partner is a little dissatisfied with his own appearance.
Even if he’s losing his hair or has gained a little bit of weight, your partner needs to know that you still find him attractive and sexy. Even if she is experiencing pregnancy, menopause or acne, she still craves your affirmation of her beauty. Compliment his gorgeous eyes or sexy smile; commend her lovely hair or pretty hands.
For those who struggle with expressing themselves in words, having a partner who needs that affirmation can be a little scary. However, expressing love in the love-style that your partner understands best is an important part of any relationship.
Learning about the five love languages forces partners to step out of their comfort zones a bit, but the pay-off will be worth it when your partner truly begins to understand your passion.
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